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Save. Laughter is good for you. The following is our hand picked collection of 50 of the funniest one line quotes that is sure to leave you in splits. These quotes are not only funny, they are also pretty clever. So enjoy! Now if only I could teach him to play fetch! “If history repeats itself, I am so getting a dinosaur!” ― anonymous.Jul 26, 2020 · Jake Lambert. "Maybe this is the beer talking, but I'm an alcoholic drink made from yeast-fermented malt flavoured with hops." Andy Field. "Life Hack: When too tired to do all the things on your ... Dec 3, 2020 · Below are just a few redneck sayings and quotes pages created by our guests. Southern Voice: a few funny redneck sayings and a photo of my pet dear. Redneck Stomp Jokes: you might be a redneck if your lady can do it faster than you and more…. Redneck Laughter: very funny you might be a redneck one liners. Sophia: "Yeah, open to everyone, day or night." Rose: "Well, I'm here if you want to pick my brain." Dorothy: "Rose, honey. Maybe we should leave it alone and let it heal." Also, not a one liner but the scene where Dorothy is describing the paper bird she had as a child and how Sophia used it to light a fire kills me every time 😂.

Oct 20, 2017 · The topic for this week’s collection of puns and one liners is cat jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…. I spotted a lion at the zoo the other day. He looks like a leopard now. Lost money playing poker with one of the big cats at the zoo. Think he was a cheetah. Went for dinner with the zoo animals the ...

Each time you light your wood stove or fireplace, you may be damaging your flue. If you don’t have a lot of experience with chimneys, then now is the time to learn to prevent a chi...The perfect one-liner leaves the recipient at a loss for a comeback, and should make sense immediately. If the phrase doesn't make sense or has to be explained, the effect is lost. The phrases shown adhere to the witty and punchy stereotype of a classical one-liner, but quickly become more niche and only understandable for an informed subgroup.

Jul 11, 2023 · A fish swam into a concrete wall, Dam! Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic. The guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda was lucky it was a soft drink. The man who invented knock-knock jokes should get a no bell prize. 1. Play With Puns. Puns are the playground of one-liners, where words with double meanings can lead to unexpected, often hilarious interpretations. A well-placed pun can …Dirty One Liners. Joke Generator. If you want it dirty and fast... You've come to the right place. We've got it all, from dirty knock knock jokes to dirty puns and much more! …Welcome to “100 Adult Jokes: Laugh Out Loud with Puns & One-Liners,” the ultimate collection that’s guaranteed to bring a smile to your face and a chuckle to your day! In this space, we serve up a smorgasbord of jests, from the witty to the wacky, that’s perfect for your adult sense of humor. Get ready to dive into a …Aug 12, 2019 · 3. “She doesn’t even go here!”. This line is in this particular spot because I think it's more difficult for younger films to get noticed for their incredible one-liners. Films like The Godfather, Star Wars, or what's considered "classic cinema" tend to get all of the attention for noteworthy lines.

Puns And One Liners. Check our Twitter and Facebook feeds for a joke on the hour every hour… Menu Close Indexes; 2023; 2022; 2021; 2020; 2019; 2018; 2017; 2016; 2015; 2014; 2013; Dream Jokes I dreamt I wrote The Hobbit the other night. I think I was Tolkein in my sleep.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. One liner tags: communication, people, travel. 81.57 % / 433 votes. A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip. One liner tags: attitude, communication, rude, travel, work.

Victory Liner is one of the most trusted and popular bus companies in the Philippines, known for its reliable and comfortable transportation services. With the advancement of techn...Oct 22, 2023 · Funny Golf One-Liners. Golfers always carry two pairs of pants, in case they get a hole in one. It takes fore golfers to change a lightbulb. Golf is what you play when you’re too out of shape to play softball. Your backswing’s great, shame about the follow-through. Golf is an expensive way of playing marbles. I’ve got more slices than a ...A panicked Thai father calls his wife while she’s grocery shopping. Their newborn baby is crying inconsolably—what should he do? After a comical series of attempts to quiet the bab...We've got it all, from dirty knock knock jokes to dirty puns and much more! Everything funny with a wink is right here. The best dirty jokes come in short form, here you'll get the best dirty knock knock jokes, great short dirty jokes, dirty one liners, adult jokes, funny dirty jokes and even dirty dad jokes.A common cause of dirty water includes the dumping of waste and sewage into water supplies. The practice of open defecation that seeps into water supplies is also a common factor o...Nov 30, 2018 · And that was cos I’d no small change for the window cleaner.”. – Victoria Wood. “Recently my girlfriend asked me if I was having sex behind her back and I replied, ‘Yes, who did you ... Victory Liner is one of the most trusted and popular bus companies in the Philippines, known for its reliable and comfortable transportation services. With the advancement of techn...

20 Funny Feline One-Liners That Any Cat Owner Will Relate To. Today the cat is out of the bag with one-liner jokes about our feline companions and their relatives. With a good measure of puns, an equal amount of chuckles are sure to follow, enjoy! A man goes into a library and asks for a book about Pavlov’s dogs and Schrodinger’s cat.It’s So Cold Jokes 2024. “It was so cold that you have to open the fridge to heat the house.”. “It was so cold that people look forward to getting a fever.”. “It was so cold that trees are chopping themselves into firewood.”. “It’s so cold outside.Oct 20, 2017 · The topic for this week’s collection of puns and one liners is cat jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…. I spotted a lion at the zoo the other day. He looks like a leopard now. Lost money playing poker with one of the big cats at the zoo. Think he was a cheetah. Went for dinner with the zoo animals the ...one Here are some Faster Than One Liners items I have now: Vanished quicker than [one hit wonder]’s music career. Over the course of the 8 Seasons, renewed for a 9th on October 25, 2021, Captain Lee has dropped some fantastic one-liners that are … Please share this post with your friends and others to read these one liner …35 brilliant one-liners that will make you smile. 07/11/2023 by Roy Sutton. Whenever I share funny one-liners with readers, the posts are always popular. So it seemed like a good idea to collect a few more for you. I’ve been collecting a lot more one-liners of late, so I thought it was time I shared them with you, dear reader.Jan 15, 2019 · 47 of the Funniest One-Liners on the Internet. Tim Latterner Updated: Jan. 25, 2024. Nothing's easier than a simple one-liner. The biggest laughs come from jokes that take little more than a ...Are you looking for a way to get your projects done faster and more efficiently? A project timeline maker can help you do just that. With a free project timeline maker, you can eas...

2 days ago · Best Short Joe Biden Jokes. Short joe biden jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The joe biden humour may include short election jokes also. Barack Obama is having a race with joe Biden around the white house. After finishing the race Obama says "Whew, just under 10 minutes.

If Linda, Kate, Paula and Janice go out for lunch, they will call each other Linda, Kate, Paula and Janice. If Fred, Luke, Bradley, and Jeff go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Bruno, Scrappy, Peanut-Head and Godzilla. =========== ... A big list of tighter than jokes, submitted and ranked by users.Nov 5, 2021 · 27. You can’t believe everything you hear—but you can repeat it. 28. There’s a lot to be said in his favor, but it’s not nearly as interesting. 29. They’ve been treating me like one of ... Well water can get dirty when there is a lack of maintenance in the well system, which can lead to deterioration. Wells may have to be cleaned, and because some people never do thi...Put your icing away. I’ve got something you can frost with. I can see into the future, and yeah, we’re gonna fuck at least once. Rumor has it you like bouncing. I’ve got something you can bounce on. I’d love to explore the box your virginity came in. I know, you be the coffee and I’ll give you some creamer for free.Feb 24, 2022 · Basically, due to being so short, these jokes are very universal and can be used in a variety of circumstances (appropriate ones, of course) and ways. #4. The problem isn’t that obesity runs in your family. It’s that no one runs in your family. Report. The nearest thing I can do to a poll: I’m making a Chimney one-liners video for season 4, and have realised that I missed a few in my video for seasons 1 to 3. Do I: Make a video for seasons 1 to 4 (about 14 minutes long), so I can add in the few lines I missed the first time round. Jul 12, 2023 · Lights, camel-ra, action. The royal family of camels live in Camel-lot Castle! A camel’s favorite car is the Toyota Camelry. Camels love to pose for the camel-ra! If you cross a camel and a cow, you’ll end up with a very lumpy milkshake. Let me get my camel-corder When camels need medicine, they go to the fur-macy.Husband Wife Jokes. For wives, who want to get back at their husband we have assembled a beautiful and hilarious collection of husband wife funny jokes. Make use of these wife and husband jokes and have fun. Wife: Let’s go out and have fun tonight! Husband: Okay but, if you get back before me, leave the light on.Jan 16, 2024 · Funny, Dirty Pick-Up Lines. 1. Hey girl, is your name winter? Because you’ll be coming soon. 2. Are you a haunted house? Because I’m going to scream when I’m in you. 3. Can you do telekinesis? Because you’ve made a part of me move without even touching it. 4. One of my friends told me girls hate oral, do you wanna help me prove him ...Lawyer Jokes Puns & One Liners: 90 Hilarious Quips for Legal Laughs. By Joke Plant July 14, 2023. jHuddle up, folks, because we’re about to dive into a realm of hilarity with 90 laugh-out-loud jokes about lawyers. These aren’t your typical courtroom dramas; they’re side-splitting, rib-tickling jests that’ll get even …

Aug 20, 2023 · I have a huge collection of most offensive one liners jokes and Dirty one liners. It makes you laugh. “Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they open their mouths.”. “I always take life with a grain of salt. Plus, a slice of lemon. And a shot of tequila.”. “I don’t have a beer gut.

71. “Buffet” is a French word that means “get up and get it yourself.”. 72. Winter: the season when we try to keep the house as hot as it was in the summer, when we complained about the ...

Dirty One Liners. Joke Generator. If you want it dirty and fast... You've come to the right place. We've got it all, from dirty knock knock jokes to dirty puns and much more! … 9 – Faster than a knife fight in a phone booth. This faster than expression is most commonly heard as like a knife fight in a phone booth which means very unpredictable and chaotic. When used as faster than a knife fight in a phone booth it of course means very quickly. Combat with sharp blades in such close quarters is bound to end in no ... Three Words: Chuck Norris Golf. 23. Golfer: “I think I’ll go drown myself in that lake.”. Caddie: “I don’t think you’ll keep your head down long enough.”. 24. Golf is a lot like taxes…you go for the green and come out in the hole! 25. It takes a serious amount of balls to golf like I do. 26.One word: Comedy! In the words of famous pianist and conductor Victor Borge, “Laughter is the closest distance between two people.”. If you have ever watched …There are many factors that enable people to work quickly, but most are within your control. Here are the best-kept secrets of fast workers. Have you ever had a coworker who seemed...Are you planning to build a beautiful pond in your garden? One of the essential components you will need is a high-quality pond liner. The right pond liner will not only ensure tha...12 Dirty One-Liners, First Edition. Check these out, or fold the laundry. Better yet, check these out while folding the laundry!Jokes On Us is all about th...Jun 2, 2016 · Here we examine a list of Churchill’s best ‘one-liners’ throughout his life. “Nothing in life is so exhilarating as to be shot at without result.” —1898. “I object on principle to doing by legislation what properly belongs to human good feeling and charity.” -1902. “War never pays its dividends in cash on the money it costs ...Here's 30 of the best action hero one liners of all time: endlessly quotable quotes that sum up the movies they are from and the people that are saying them. 1. John McClane "Yippee Ki Yay motherf***er" Bruce Willis, Die Hard. 2. King Leonidas "This is Sparta!" Gerard Butler, 300. 3. Harry Callahan "You've got to ask yourself one question: …Nowadays, legs spread quicker than rumors. Women and rocks are very much alike … We skip the flat ones. I always start writing with a clean piece of paper and a dirty mind. Don’t call the world dirty because you forgot to clean your glasses. I sent an angel to watch over you last night but he came back saying he can’t watch porn.The clearance rate would be quicker than an intravenous user, but still could take up to 2.45 days (nearly 59 hours) to fully clear it from the body. ... I snorted one small line early this morning for the first time in 20 years. ... One time test still showed dirty, a pee later went in and barely passed. I can say that I’ve had much ...

Dec 3, 2020 · Below are just a few redneck sayings and quotes pages created by our guests. Southern Voice: a few funny redneck sayings and a photo of my pet dear. Redneck Stomp Jokes: you might be a redneck if your lady can do it faster than you and more…. Redneck Laughter: very funny you might be a redneck one liners. From Dirty Harry, we’ve learned what happens when you feel lucky — or at least, when Clint Eastwood’s Harry Callahan challenges you to ponder your fortune. When Scarlett O’Hara asserts that tomorrow is another day in Gone with the Wind, it’s more than optimism; it’s a testament to the enduring human spirit. Not merely filler …Jul 26, 2020 · Jake Lambert. "Maybe this is the beer talking, but I'm an alcoholic drink made from yeast-fermented malt flavoured with hops." Andy Field. "Life Hack: When too tired to do all the things on your ... I put my money back in my pocket, just in case he's right. One liner tags: life, money, sarcastic, time. 94.57 % / 1843 votes. Ham and Eggs: A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig. One liner tags: animal. 94.56 % / 1777 votes. Anger; the feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind. Instagram:https://instagram. cycle trader greenville scbuilders creation crossword cluescore of the twinswhich of the following is true of advertising Not only did the series boast a whole host (pun intended) of very famous faces, they were also incredibly funny. So with that said, here's 19 of the funniest one-liners from the Vicar of Dibley. Dawn French played Rev Geraldine Granger in the Vicar of Dibley (Image: BBC) 1. Owen: "I am a great supporter of sex before marriage. The nearest thing I can do to a poll: I’m making a Chimney one-liners video for season 4, and have realised that I missed a few in my video for seasons 1 to 3. Do I: Make a video for seasons 1 to 4 (about 14 minutes long), so I can add in the few lines I missed the first time round. walmart supercenter vision center near mesendnudesx onlyfans nude one Here are some Faster Than One Liners items I have now: Vanished quicker than [one hit wonder]’s music career. Over the course of the 8 Seasons, renewed for a 9th on October 25, 2021, Captain Lee has dropped some fantastic one-liners that are … Please share this post with your friends and others to read these one liner … sam's service station Apr 20, 2023 · Sex is like a burrito, don’t unwrap or that baby’s in your lap. 51. One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, “Please send me a sister.”. Santa Clause wrote him back, “Ok, send me your mother.”. 52. A woman participating in a survey was asked how she felt about condoms. She said, “Depends what’s in it for me.”.Over time, computers often become slow and sluggish, making even the most basic processes take more time than they should. Even the best-rated PC will slow down as you install soft...